


A Sense of Self-Loathing

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Episode Related, Episode: s03e03 Fireflies, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-20
Updated: 2013-06-20
Packaged: 2017-12-15 13:12:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/849940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn't like he was helping with anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Sense of Self-Loathing

Derek didn’t know what his plan was when he held Cora and Boyd away from him. They weren’t thinking straight and he knew that. He knew that he had no upper hand in the situation. He couldn’t just growl them into submission like he usually did. He couldn’t do anything.

He was starting to feel like he failed. 

He failed his family. He failed Laura. He failed the pack. He failed Erica. 

God, where in the hell did Derek get off thinking he could lead a pack of kids? He could barely handle himself and now a 16 year old girl was dead. He had nothing to say for himself. 

So maybe it was a blessing in disguise when Boyd and Cora started to slash into him, started to tear him open. Maybe he could finally just stop thinking. It wasn’t like he was helping anyone by being alive. Scott could lead the pack with his skills. He was much better than Derek. And he had Stiles and Isaac on his side, too. It was clear that Isaac trusted him over Derek. And Stiles was definitely the brains behind the operation. It could be such a strong pack. They could do it without him. He was nothing to them. 

Derek flinched at the claws that went a little too deep. He couldn’t look up. He couldn’t look at his baby sister and know that it was her. It was her trying to kill him and at this point, it wouldn’t really matter. And Boyd. He lost Erica and lost himself. The calm one. 

Nothing was right anymore. It was all just so twisted. 

Kind of like his insides now. And people said he wasn’t funny. 

Maybe this was finally it. He would finally die and stop ruining everything. 

But this was Derek Hale’s life and nothing ever went like he wanted it to.

And he lived. 

__

Derek could hear Isaac and Scott open the door and run in but Derek couldn’t look up yet. 

He didn’t know what he was avoiding. Maybe the look of hopefulness in the two young werewolves eyes. Or maybe just a look of relief. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve any of it.

He deserved to die.


End file.
